The art of communication, how to keep attention

1. Call the person you are talking to by name more often
Recall Carnegie, who wrote the following: “A man’s name is the sweetest and most important sound to him in any language.” If you didn’t hear the name of the person you’re talking to, don’t hesitate to ask again. If it’s a phone conversation – write down his name so you don’t accidentally forget. The fact is that when you use any name substitutes, however affectionate or respectful, the interlocutor suspects that you have simply forgotten his name.

2. Make a mistake
Oddly enough, the easiest way to get anyone comfortable with you is to make a mistake and let them correct you. Usually we do exactly the opposite: we try not to make a mistake, and if we do, we try to pretend that nothing happened. And thereby forcing everyone around us to pretend they haven’t noticed. At this point, those around them feel extremely awkward, they don’t want to continue the acquaintance at all.
But if you make a mistake and let a person correct you, you kill three birds with one stone. First, he feels more confident because his ego is flattered by the situation; second, he can communicate with you more freely; and third, he himself is not afraid to make a mistake in front of you.

3. Praise the interlocutor in the third person
Sometimes it’s awkward to give a direct compliment – simply because there’s no appropriate occasion. In addition, you want to make sure that the compliment was not duty, because the banal “You look great today” will not attract many people to you. What to do? Give compliments, but in the third person.

4. reflect the interlocutor’s posture
But carefully. So he doesn’t think you’re mocking him. If your conversation partner is sitting with their hands folded on the table, you should also put your hands on the table, but in a slightly different way. If he props his head up with his hand, you can fix his hair, tuck a strand behind his ear, or touch his chin. It works very simply: posture reflects our inner state, and we read body language perfectly well, we just don’t realize it. And if you mirror the pose, it’s a sign: you feel the same way as your new acquaintance. And we are always happier to socialize with those who are experiencing the same feelings we are.

5. Expose your wrists
And show the inside of them more often. It’s a simple bodily signal: you feel safe, you trust your interlocutor, you don’t expect anything bad from him. That’s the payoff.

6. Empathize
It is clear that people are most interested in their own persona. If you find it hard to sympathize with someone you know nothing about, you might want to listen more closely: the reality is that we complain all the time. On bad weather, on traffic, on feeling bad and on the behavior of others. On sleepiness and lack of coffee, after all. It’s just not commonly focused on, they are words spoken into the void, words that take awkward pauses. You are expected to just go along with them. And you don’t just agree, you empathize. Of course, you don’t need to rush to the person with consolations – the occasion is not the right one. But saying something along the lines of “I know how you feel! You’ve had a hard day, it’ll be over soon, hang in there” wouldn’t hurt.

7. Make the interlocutor praise himself/herself
It’s basic, but it always works. Everyone loves to brag about their accomplishments, and all you have to do is exclaim: “Wow! You have to have an iron will to pull this off!” It doesn’t matter whether it’s about work, hobbies or weight loss. Most likely, the interlocutor will answer you with something along the lines of “Come on, it’s no big deal,” but he or she will think to themselves, “Wow, I’m good!” It’s done.

8. Ask for a favor
We feel like we can get a person comfortable with us by doing them some small favor. It works, but not always: if you help someone in an awkward situation, they may avoid further communication, simply because they are uncomfortable with the memory of their “embarrassment”. Acting as a savior is a different matter. A person who is kind to another, grows in his own eyes, and therefore, is always ready to continue communication – because it reminds him of how wonderful he is, irreproachable and generally a hero. The main thing is not to abuse this method, because no one likes non-self-sufficient beggars, of course.